PHP 程序员就是这样撸的

<?php

$lu = init();

do {
$she = $lu('up') || $lu('down');
} while(!$she);

echo '爽！';

function init() {
playVideo('波多.mp4');

$happyLevel = 0;
return function ($direction) use (&$happyLevel) {
if (!in_array($direction, ['up', 'down'])) {
throw new Exception('方向错误，屌断！');
}

if ($direction == 'up') {
$start = 0;
$end   = 100;
} else {
$start = 100;
$end   = 0;
}
for ($i = $start; $i != $end; $i += $start < $end ? 1 : -1) {
touchDick($i);
}
return ++$happyLevel > 10000;
};
}