Dear Diana（1）系列

'My boyfriend is commitment phobic'

Q:Dear Diana, I am 27 and my boyfriend is 30. We have been in a relationship for the past four years.We were supposed to get married in September, but at the
last moment he decided to postpone the marriage. The reason being his dream to settle down in the US. So until things don’t move in that direction, he won’t marry me. I am shocked by his attitude because I see this as just a reason to
stay away from commitment.

— Ameera

Dear Ameera,

A:Your guy seems to be struggling with
indecisiveness and he seems to be sticking to his stand. His dream may take time to materialise, so how long does he want to keep you waiting? It is not as if marriage will be a
roadblock in chasing his dream. You need to do a reality check whether this guy is really interested in marrying you. Set a deadline for him and if he still does not pay heed, it is pretty clear that he has something else in his mind. Or perhaps
he is scared to take the plunge. Either way he needs to speak out and clear his muddled mind.

Word and sentence：

stay away from commitment.

indecisiveness

roadblock

'My best friend is taking me for granted'

Q:Dear Diana, I am 28. I have known my best pal since childhood. I am well settled and earn well. Over the years, however, my pal has started taking me for granted.
He thinks he can get away with anything. He keeps borrowing money for me as he is always in and out of jobs. I seriously want to move on and make him my past, but I’m not able to. How do I break away?

— Souvik

A:Dear Souvik,

This pal is simply patronising you. He knows you will not say anything, so he can
get away with his antics. You may be best buddies, but there has to be some respect for each other. Walk away without regrets and do not turn back. He is clearly using you and you are allowing him to do so.
The very fact that he has become a source of irritation for you is a sign that things are no longer the same. You can choose who you want to be friends with. Tell him how you feel and move on.

Word and sentence：

get away with his antics

The very fact that he has become a source of irritation for you is a sign that things are no longer the same.

'My husband does not want a child'

Q:Dear Diana, I am 33 and my husband is 35. We've been married for four years.Our sex life is a disaster. I want to have a child, but he seems to be in no hurry. I feel I am running
out of time. He is a workaholic and constantly travelling. He thinks I’m being over-sexed. Is there something wrong with me or with him?

— Ambalika

A:Dear Ambalika,

This is one issue that you alone can solve. Instead of sticking to your viewpoints, tread the middle path. This is something that requires both of your involvement. Have you ever wondered why he does not want children? Is it because of financial
or housing reasons? You need to speak with your husband about how you feel and why he feels otherwise.
As for the time is running out bit, nowadays advances in the medical field enable women even in their 40s to have babies — you are 33 so there is time.

Word and sentence：

As for the time is running out bit

workaholic

sticking to your viewpoints

'My wife barely talks to me'

Q:Dear Diana, I am 28 and got married six months ago. My wife hardly interacts with me. I don't know what her problem is. She does all the
household chores and keeps everything in ship-shape in the house. Even when I am at home, she is always doing something or the other. My parents and sister live with us. How do I know what is going on in her head?

— Niresh

A:Dear Niresh,

Chances are that she is so tied up with the household chores that it barely leaves any time for her to sit back and talk. Remember it is not only you but also your parents and sister that she has to tend to. It is pretty obvious that she has her hands full
all day long. Or perhaps she is soft-spoken and as your marriage is only six months old, she is not yet comfortable in her new home. Instead of groaning and moaning about her silence, why don’t you try and bring her out of her shell. For starters
give her a helping hand. Out of respect, she may not be telling you about her workload. Also, why didn’t you spend some time outside the home with her. Take her out to a mall or restaurant often, only after you spend time with her, you will get to know what
is on her mind.

Word and sentence：

household chores

soft-spoken

'The girl I loved is back in my life'

Q:Dear Diana, I was in love with a girl from my college but I never mustered enough courage to tell her about my feelings for her. We went our ways, but recently I bumped into her again during a college reunion. She
is engaged to someone of her family’s choice. We got talking and for the past three months we’ve been going for movies, eating out and meeting almost every day. She has dropped enough hints that she wants to break up with her boyfriend. Should I make my move?

— Akhilesh

A:Dear Akhilesh,

Yes, of course. Destiny has brought you together again. You liked her and wanted her to be your girl, so here is your chance. At the same time, tread cautiously as she is engaged. The fact that she is spending time with you is a clear indication
that she is interested in you. For her, however, breaking off may not be easy as her fiance is of her family’s choice. As a first step, she has to be clear in her mind. Once she is sure, she needs to broach it with her family. Calling off
the engagement will upset her folk, so you will have to deal with the situation
with utmost care. Also, you need to make it clear that you are not the cause of it, you bumped into her as fate ordained and it is her call to be with you.
Word and sentence：

Destiny has brought you together again

breaking off

with utmost care

'My boyfriend dumps me at his convenience...'

Q:Dear Diana, I was in a relationship with a guy whose family had found a suitable match for him. He claimed to love me as he barely knew the girl. He always maintained that he
never wanted to be in a relationship with the girl. So I never asked him about her. After a while, however, his attitude changed as he stopped meeting me or taking my phone calls. One fine day, he popped up to say that he did not love me and that he was going
back to the girl of his family’s choice. I was shattered but there was nothing I could do. Now, he wants to be back in my life as his alliance with the girl is off.

— Breena

A:Dear Breena,

This guy is a wimp and cannot be trusted. He dropped you like a hot potato when his family found a girl for him. Now that the alliance is off, he wants you back. It is so convenient for him to keep you on hold, turning to you
whenever he feels like. You cannot be at his beck and call. He is kept you on stand by and when other options fail he wants you back. You cannot be a Plan B in his life. This guy has deceived you once, and he will do it again when his parents
find another girl for him. You need to stand up to him and make him aware that you cannot be at his mercy. If you still love him, get things sorted before you take the plunge or you are better off without such a spineless guy.
Word and sentence：

wimp

dropped you like a hot potato

beck and call

'My parents detest my guy'

Q:Dear Diana, I'm 26 and working as a media consultant. I'm in a steady relationship with a guy who is doing well for himself, but my parents don't like him as he comes from a
different state.They are pressurising me to leave him for a guy of their choice. I don’t want to lose my love for something
as trivial as regionalism. Please suggest a way out.

— Ulya

A:Dear Ulya,

Have you ever reasoned with your parents why they are frowning at your choice? He is from a different state and not from Mars! I am sure there must be more on their mind. Let them have their say and then reason it out. If you have
made up your mind and are determined to marry him, they cannot stop you. At 26 you are mature enough to know what is right and wrong. If you want to
seek their blessings, try and convince them. At the moment things are messy as everyone is sticking to their viewpoint. It would be better if you and your guy discuss it with your folks. I am sure they want the best for you.
Word and sentence：

as trivial as

made up your mind

seek their blessings

'I have fallen for a married woman'

Q:Dear Diana, I'm 28 and single. I have never been in a relationship so far. A couple of weeks ago, I met this woman at an event. She is married with a four-year-old son. Her
husband is in the merchant navy, so he remains away for months. We got along
like a house on fire. We keep talking to each other on the phone every day. I’ve never felt like this before with any woman. Is this love? Does she care for me?

— Sumair

A:Dear Sumair,

It may be love for you, but I have serious doubts about what is going on in her mind. As you said, her husband stays away for months because of his job. She might be lonely, so she may be just
bonding with you. You are showering her with attention and she is loving it. Drop hints and get to know what is on her mind. If she keeps talking about her
tot and hubby, it is clear that she is not thinking of anything more. You just talk on the phone and she has not evinced a desire to meet you or to take things to the next level. So for now just think of her as a pal. Before you start thinking
of a future with her, remember she has a family, so it will be an extramarital affair for her. Think twice before you decide to take the plunge.

Word and sentence：

like a house on fire
bonding with
tot and hubby

'I am attracted to my mother-in-law'

Q:Dear Diana, I'm 45 while my wife is 30. My mother-in-law, who is 52, lives with us. One day my wife and kid had gone to bed.My mother-in-law and I were watching TV. We were sitting on
the same sofa. One thing led to another and before we knew, we embraced. To be honest, I don’t regret what happened. In fact it was fun. The next morning my mother-in-law did not utter a word. She’s behaving as if nothing ever happened. Now
I want her in bed.

— Dhiresh

Dear Dhiresh,

A:Do you want your child’s grandmother to double up as a stepmom as well? Surely your mother-in-law has more brains and has kept shut after that night. Things may have happened in the heat of the moment, but
the faster you banish such thoughts, the better it will be for you. Your fantasy will ruin three lives — yours, your wife’s as well as your mother-in-law’s. Instead stick to playing your role of a son-in-law. Think of how your wife will react
if she finds out. You will strain the mother-daughter relation as well.

Word and sentence：

One thing led to another 接二连三

the faster you banish such thoughts, the better it will be for you. 赶走想法

strain relation 紧张关系

'I enjoy female attention'

Q：Dear Diana, I am handsome so I get a lot of female attention. My marriage has been fixed by my parents, but a neighbour of minehas the hots for me.
She openly flirts with me. In office, a colleague also likes me. I’m in a fix. Who do I choose?

A:Looks like you consider yourself an Adonis. You are handsome and a trueladies man. If you are attracted to a neighbour and a colleague after you, why did you
give your consent to the match fixed by your family? When it comes to commitment, you have to choose one. Attracting attention is fine but when it its’ time to get married, you have to decide. You seem to
be swayed by the attention you are getting. Stopplaying around with the women in your life. Your head seems
cluttered by the women who are flirting with you. Think of whom you would want to be your wife. Once you have taken a decision, tell the other that you aregetting hitched and can no longer play along.

Word and sentence：

has the hots for me

flirts with 调情

be swayed 动摇

playing around 玩耍，胡搞

cluttered 杂乱

getting hitched 套住

'I am overweight and nobody loves me'

Q:Dear Diana, Ihave been obese since childhood. All my pals now have girlfriends or are married except for me. The issue is my weight. Even a girl who is equally
obese refused me. I have a great job, own a home and a car. Does nobody love a fat guy? Girls tell me they find me cute but Iam not boyfriend material. I feel so dejected.

A:Does obesity run in your family? If so, you need medical attention. Nowadays there are numerous ways to lose weight including going under the knife. If your weight is proving to be a hurdle in your
love life, one option is to lose it. You will need to consult a dietician tochart out a proper meal plan for you. At the same time, you will have todraw up a work-out regime with a physical trainer. You cannot lose weight
overnight, so be patient. Excess weight can lead to several health issues as well. Right now, you have lowself-esteem, be happy with how you are. Think positive and I am sure there is someone out there who will love you for what you are.

Word and sentence:

obese 肥胖

I am not boyfriend material 不是男朋友的料

hurdle 障碍

chart out 画出

draw up a work-out regime

low self-esteem 自卑

'My mother stumbled on my porn DVD collection'

Q:Dear Diana, I am 21. Last week, while cleaning my cupboard my motherstumbled upon some porn DVDs. She put them in a bag and stashed it in the bottom drawer. Though she did not utter a
word to me, I am feeling weird. I thought she wouldcreate a scene, but she has chosen to ignore it. I immediately gave the bag to a friend from whom I had borrowed the DVDs. Should Ibroach the subject with her?

A: Your mother has handled the situation in a mature manner. At your age, there is this curiosity and is considered a guy thing. You were careless enough to keep it around in the cupboard, so she kept it stashed away before
it falls into anyone’s hands. Let your mom be and do not broach the subject. She has in her own manner made you realise what is good and what is bad. By not talking about it and throwing a fit, she has said a lot. So respect her for that. And rememberanything
in excess is always harmful so you too should be mature enough to realise it.

Word and sentence:

stumbled upon 偶然发现

stashed 藏匿

utter a word 开口

create a scene 大吵大闹

broach the subject 开口

a mature manner

anything in excess is always harmful

I'm in love with a married colleague

Q: Dear Diana, I'm in love with a colleague. I feel that he'slooking for a way out of his marriage.Would it be appropriate for me tostep
in and offer him a shoulder to cry on and eventuallymake a place for myself in his heart? I am single. Though we get well, he does not talk about his wife but I can feel that he is unhappy in his marriage.

A:Dear,you feel the guy is unhappy in his marriage because he is spending time with you and giving you attention.For all you might know,
he may be justlooking for some fun outside marriage. It is strange that he has not clearly told you about his personal life. You are getting serious about him but is he? Remember he is havingan extramarital affair and when
his folks find out, it will be one hell ride for you. It will not only affect you personally but also professionally as you’ll work together. Before you take any decision,get to know what’s on his mind.

Word and sentence:

look for a way out of his marriage

step in 介入

offer him a shoulder to cry on

make a place for myself in his heart

for all you might know

looking for some fun outside marriage

an extramarital affair 婚外恋

be one hell ride for you
get to know what’s on his mind