大家看看我写的英语作文，有哪些需要改进的地方（一）

这是我写的英语作文。题目是这样的。



我写的作文是这样的：

There is a graph showing the proportion of population aged 65 and over during 1940 and expected 2040 among Japan, Sweden and USA.

 

From the very beginning, all of these countries had low proportion of old people. While in Japan was in its lowest place. At the end of 20th century, Sweden had exceeded USA and became the highest. But as many sociologists suggested, Japan will undergo a boom of old people after 2030, and will quickly rank the first place among these countries. From the graph, we can also see that all these countries will face a difficult and complicated old people problem, as the statistic goes up.

 

To conclude, the government should take measures in order to tackle with this problem.

马上就要考4级了，我怕我的成绩不过关，所以要好好学习英语。